As I sit here and start this blog session today, I must admit that I am hurt, upset and very angry right about now. I have just returned from a trip where it was a family oriented trip; But I didn't much feel like being bothered, But as being taught you put your best foot forward and throw on your people face. I am such a public figure it comes as part of my daily routine. As I drove home I was an emotional mess and felt so ugggggggggghhh inside, A man that I had given 3 years to acted as though it meant nothing to him. I had met him in October of 2008 walking down the street as he passed my friends house; He caught my eye and I followed he was waiting because he saw me looking! Our first meeting was wonderful considering he was a thug and didn't want any kind of sex on the first meet was wow!, at this meeting he presented good conversation asked all the right questions and seemed generally concerned. We left that night and the only thing he wanted was a pack of newports, Not a problem and at about 1 am I took him home. The next time we met which was two days later I was so excited because he was kind and very considerate we went walking and continued more talking about my life and family, he made me laugh and took away the distraction of losing a family member earlier in the year which was devastating to me; He eased my pain and helped me to refocus again on life! Our third date or meeting was wonderful we came together and he blew me out of this world with his love making skills, hadn't had a session like that in a while and he spent the night, what a feeling I had, I knew this was going to be more than FWB, It was a friendship/affair beginning. From that meeting we began the phone conversations and meeting going out to eat, driving around the country side and at night spending so much time together. Well do the fact that he was recently paroled out he was without a job and resources, I took up the slack of helping him regain himself, get back on his feet, we were on our way and he helped fill the voids that I was going through, He went to work with me, protected me I just knew this was it. Come January things started changing; I noticed that his visits were still regular just shorter and always had an excuse to be somewhere, I am a detective my brothers are law enforcement and through this I learned a few things, He had found a woman and couldn't tell me, at first I was angry because At this point I was spoiled in which I am, And I didn't want to share! I had found a DL brutha in which I was not use too. But I learned to accept it, she was nice and look like we were moving on with this arrangement. That lasted almost 2 years and it was fine! We were a happy threesome, then it all broke down and she was gone; I hung in there and it was he and I again; then the thing of others started popping up. I continued to support and stand by him we were the duo again, with his side dishes and friends rooting him on. I made him look good, I bought the best for him, kept up his habits put money in his pockets and it hit the streets he was balling again, All during this time an ex from the past showed back up, he was pursuing an ex wife's daughter and messing with the neighbors trailer trash roommate who was working the streets like a magnet. Well I stayed even got him a place to live with y brother and sister n law, we had our nest  where we could be free, But today I sit and type this blog because it seems as though it has blown up in my face! The trailer trash whore today is sitting up in the motel room he has rented; I am upset because it is the same place he has taken me too so many times! He began slanging dope again, making a little money and the trailer trash whore who has been working the streets and doing things for money with anyone that would stop and she is there! After all I have done and sacrificed with dr visits, medicines, sitting at the hospital going to court paying fines and buying expensive clothes and The Thanks is the whore gets to act like a live in wife, when he had the house; I worked came home, cleaned, washed clothes, cooked and kept his life orderly and the town whore gets to act like she is a made for show partner peice. Yes at this point I am bitter upset and used. going on 4 years I  have been there stood up for him and this is how you let me know you appreciate it. The tears come but i must forge on..................To Be Continued